After being seriously depressed for December, January and February, I feel like my head is above water and I am splashing about in some form of joy, soaking wet.

I simply could not get off the couch for those three months. I was stuck. So …… I abandoned my spot on the living room couch, which is oh so comfortable and moved to the couch in my office which becomes uncomfortable after an hour, so I have no choice but to get up.

I forced myself to take action. I applied to be a volunteer at Memorial Hermann Hospital for the position of a field grief counselor. I also applied to volunteer to Jesse Jones Nature Park near my home. A beautiful 300 acre park with native plants and animals. A beautiful creek flows through it. It is a special, spiritual, calm place to be and I love it there.

I was accepted to both positions. This adds to my other volunteer jobs. Volunteer ushering at Stages Theater and The George Theatre. I get to see the plays for free just by showing patrons to their seat. All of these volunteer opportunities gives me the feeling of being part of something. I needed a reason to be here. Having people counting on you keeps you moving forward.

Last week was the best week I have had this year. I met with my first grief counselor patient on Friday. She is an 80 year old firecracker that is a spry 80 pounds, if that. We bonded immediately. I visited for 2 hours and when I left she gave me a kiss and a hug, saying, “I already love you”. What an angel. Another reason why I am here.

I also found out last week that I was selected to train to be a Teaching Associate at Texas A & M Medical School. I felt on top of the world!

Also last week, I needed $800.00 to pay land taxes and I did not have it. What to do? I was going to borrow from my savings which I hate, hate to do because it seems like it never gets put back. Well, surprise, surprise, I received a check from one of my medical school jobs that completely covered it. Thank you Universe.

I guess I received enough positive reinforcement last week to last for a while. After losing my husband of 40 years, I often wonder why I am here. I guess I know for now. People need me as much as I need them.

DeeDee