Today marks 4 months since my dear loved one transitioned back into the universe. Turning back into stardust with his spirit residing inside of me. I feel him every day and he still helps me live without his physical presence. I feel tickling, sparkling, comforting and embracing electrical charges from him constantly. He fills me with energy that keeps me breathing.

I didn’t think I could go on without him but I didn’t have to. I feel him everywhere, hear his beautiful voice singing to me, the chuckling belly laughter, and the corny jokes.

I find myself remembering all the things he used to say:

“Something beats nothing every time”
“What do you want for free, your money back”
“Half of one, six of the other”
“Hey, Cat Daddy”
“Hey, Daddy Jack Bird”
“Not if I see you first”, his reply if someone said “see ya later”
“If you are waiting on me, you’re backing up”
“What’s your scene?”

and on and on and on….. he had a million sayings…

When I really start missing his voice, I play his old phone messages and his recorded songs. Dancing wildly and singing along. Always cheers me up as tears roll down my cheeks, a mixture of joy, happiness and longing.

I am living, I am breathing, I am happy and I feel loved. Not only by him but by my many dear friends and relatives who accept me without judgement. Just the way I am.

I am a better person for having lived 39 years with such a special angel. I wouldn’t be me without the lessons he taught me. He lifted me up and was my biggest fan and cheerleader.

I miss you, sweet husband. Thanks for helping me to continue living my life to the fullest. The beat goes on…..

DeeDee