It has been joyous, sad, happy, miserable, blissful, excruciating and wonderful these last few months remembering my best friend, my pal, my husband. He is still with me ….. inside my body, part of my heart and my source of strength and fortitude. I miss him terribly and oscillate between happiness and the blues. Lately, as time passes, it is more happiness than sadness. Doesn’t really matter. I like to wallow in both.

I survived and passed my first big test with out him. Hurricane Harvey. My house did not flood but the property did. I was trapped and isolated in my home for 7 days. No way in or out. It was a chance to purge the pain and celebrate the memories. He would have been appalled at some of my “rigged” remedies to issues created by all the water. But they worked!

I am learning to do things for myself. I exhaust every possible solution to any problems before calling anyone. The internet is my friend and I just google my question and someone always answers with the solutions. I even repaired my satellite cable television when I could not get through by phone. Works great now. I do get frustrated quite often when I attempt to do something that he did and I just don’t have his strength. Time to firm up muscles at the gym.

101 days…. I can hardly believe it. I remember the Sunday after he died, I was so distraught and certain I could not exist without him. But I am a survivor and a warrior who will never give up or slow down.

Moving forward, never straight.

DeeDee