I have three younger siblings. Much younger. My brother is 10 years younger and my two sisters are 16 and 18 years younger. Same parents. Just a huge gap in the childbearing department. When they were very young they adored me and I adored them as well. This continued throughout our lives and when I moved to California from Texas in 1986, they were 20, 22 and 26.

Throughout the years I lived in California, we would talk often. I would go back home a couple of times a year and they would visit California on occasion. My time spent back home was always wonderful. We had such great times and laughed until we cried. We all got along so well despite the age difference.

I moved back to Texas in 2011 after being gone for 25 years. The picture I had in my mind was that we would be able to have those fun times ALL the time now. What I didn’t realize was that 1550 miles and 25 years makes a big difference.

Our worlds, beliefs, and politics were so different. They simply did not mesh and, in fact, collided. I so wanted to fit in but the fact was I didn’t. I settled into just being content with myself and no longer buying the so-called “family myth” or believing in the fantasy I had created.

I can’t do anything about it but love them, wish them happiness and freedom from suffering, and I’ll be there anytime they need me.